Burning Mistakes
by ravinegirl28
Summary: Emma and Sean have both fallen into addiction and depression after the shooting. They both get shipped off to rehab only to find they are locked in there with each other! Can the two of them help each other find the souls they lost that fateful day? Can they find their way back to each other before it's too late? SEMMA! RATED M FOR A REASON! DARK FIC! 100 chapter prompt!
1. The New Emma Nelson

Emma Nelson.

She had always been described as the activist, crusader, good girl,, smart girl, the girl with the pigtails and dolphin pants that always made the right decisions in the end.

At least that's who she used to be. Before Rick Murray brought a gun to school and tried to kill her. Before she lost a part of her soul in that hallway that she will never be able to get back. That's when everything went to shit. Correction: everything went to shit when Sean Cameron, you know her first love...the guy that saved her life...went back to Wasaga. He left her alone in her own misery to deal with the fallout. And who was she now?

Emma Nelson.

Now a C average or below student. Stopped talking to her friends, therefore she was now a loner. She was no longer the perfect daughter. In fact, most of the time her parents just looked at her with complete and total disappointment. Drunk. Oh yeah, did i forget to mention that Emma hung at the ravine every night? She now parties her nights away with Jay Hogart and his girlfriend Alex Nunez. Emma first started hanging at the ravine when Jay made a move on her during the Dracula rehearsals. She made an idiot decision and went to the party he invited her to. She ended up going down on him once in the ravine van. When Alex found out, she was pissed at first but her and Jay eventually made up and became friends with Emma. Slut. Oh and going down on random guys in the ravine van? That was now her thing. She never slept with any of them or really ever even let them touch her. She only gave them blow jobs and left.

Are you starting to get the picture now? People had been saying that Emma was "off or whatever" for months now. After a while, she finally just stopped trying to be perfect and fell down the rabbit hole of self destruction. This was who the new Emma Nelson was, and if anyone didn't like it? She no longer gave a shit.


	2. Another Day in Hell

Emma walked through the school day that day like she always did lately...Her old friends would stare at her from afar, her classmates would whisper about her in the halls between classes, she would zone out through her classes all day and her teachers would give her disapproving looks. Perino pulled her aside after fourth period to discuss the fact that her grade in his class was now a completely failing one and that the "grace period" of leniancy after the shooting happened was now over. Emma just stared at him, barely even hearing his words and walked away without another glance. He called after her to come back, but she just wasn't in the mood for it today. She hauled ass towards Alex's locker, not even bothering to stop at her own to pick up her chem book. She wasn't going today. Fuck it.

"Yo Greenpeace, where's the fire?" Jay yelled out from across the hall, pulling Emma out of the daze she was in.

She looked around and noticed the hallway fairly empty before she headed over to Jay with her usual fake smile pasted on her face.

"There you are! Where's Lex? Let's get the hell out of here!" she said in a rush, pulling Jay towards the back door with her.

Jay scoffed and rolled his eyes but reluctantly followed.

"Skipping again, are we Em? I'm sure daddy dearest wouldn't like to hear about this," He joked.

Emma rolled her eyes.

"Who gives a shit? I'm done with the day! We'd only be missing our last two classes. And when the hell am I ever gonna need chemistry or study hall in the real world anyways?"

Jay shrugged. Girl had a point.

"Well when you're right, you're right GP." he agreed as he pushed open the back doors and he and Emma snuck out as they usually did to skip class.

"I usually am," she joked.

Jay pulled a cigarette out of the pack in his back pocket and offered one to Emma. She took it and they both lit up as they found their way to Jay's Civic in the parking lot. Alex was already there with Amy and Towerz. They were passing around a joint and leaning against the car looking bored as usual.

"About damn time!" Alex yelled when she saw Emma and Jay finally approaching.

"Hey when have I ever claimed to be on time for anything? And who the hell said you could smoke my joint without me?" Jay whined as he unlocked the car and the five of them shuffled inside.

Alex was in the front as usual and Emma was sandwiched inbetween Amy and Towerz in the back.

"It's my bad. Perino was hassling me about my grade in his class. I got out of there as soon as I could." Emma admitted.

"Ugh, fuck Perino! He's always got a stick up his ass about something!" Amy chimed in.

Towerz nodded his usual silent input as he handed Emma the joint. Emma handed her cigarette over to Amy to take her puff and puff before she passed. Amy took a long drag off the Marlboro before trading with Emma and taking her turn on the joint.

This was how Emma usually spent her afternoons now. They just drove around in Jay's car and listened to music and smoked. It was the only way Emma could relax these days. It was the only time her mind was completely blank and she let herself shut down.

Jay dropped her off before her parents got home of course and they agreed to meet up at the ravine later that night after everyone had gone to bed. Emma walked in the house and got herself a bottle of water from the fridge and let the silence wash over her. She lived for these rare moment when she was home alone and no one was nagging at her or expecting anything from her or was disappointed in her. It was the only time she felt at peace anymore.

-X-

Later that night, Emma was in her room attempting to read her English assignment and failing miserably. She'd read chapter ten about four times now and still had no idea what the hell was going on. She threw the book down at the bottom of her bed, defeated and checked her phone for texts. There were several from Manny asking Emma to meet her at Liberty's and join them for a girls night. Emma ignored them all. When would Manny learn that Emma just wasn't the same person she used to be? She needed to let that part of her old friend go and move on. Because the old Emma wasn't coming back, ever!

She had a few from Amy asking if she could bring the leftover tequila Emma had stored away from last weekend and a couple from Alex letting her know she would be late to the ravine that night cause she had a late shift at the movie theater.

Emma responded to Amy to tell her she would definitely be there with the liquor in tow and told Alex she better hurry her fiesty ass up! Emma didn't much like hanging in the ravine alone. Sure, she liked to go and hook up with randoms but always when her friends were within shouting distance just in case.

Next, she checked her FaceRange page, noting that several of her old friends were all busy and happy and she was the miserable one with nothing to do. The only people that had posted on her wall previously were pics from the ravine that people tagged her in. Luckily, her parents hadn't seen any of them or she would be in big trouble!

She browsed around for a bit before finally giving in and deciding to stalk..ahem..check Sean's page. Emma tried not to, but she couldn't help it. It was something she did whenever she wanted to test how numb she truly was getting. If she saw something posted on there that didn't make her heart ache and that familiar burn start in the pit of her stomach then she was particularly numb that day. Last time she checked, there were pictures of Sean at a party with various girls hung all over him. Emma didn't even blink. Guess she really was losing herself after all.

There was nothing new posted on his page, but she obsessively poured over his photos anyways. He had been gone for four long months and it was obvious he had moved on from his life at Degrassi and everyone in it. Typical. Emma snorted and logged off before sending Jay a text to ask him for more weed. She could barely make it through a night without the stuff anymore.

Before she even got the message sent, she heard her door open and Snake's heavy footsteps pounding down the basement steps. Emma hid the phone under the covers and pulled the book to her chest, making it look like she had been reading all along.

"Emma we need to talk'" he told her as he sat on the edge of her bed.

From the looks of it, her night was about to get much worse!

-X-

AN: So my chapters on this story are going to be shorter because it is a 100 chapter prompt, so bare with me;) What do you guys think so far? Remember, reviews keep me motivated and writing faster!


	3. The Truth About Snake

Emma took a deep breath before she pasted a smile on her face.

"Sure, Snake, what do you want to talk about?" she asked sweetly.

Snake rolled his eyes.

"Cut the act, Emma. We both know you're not the innocent little girl you used to be." He sneered at her.

Emma let the sickly sweet smile drop from her face and rolled her eyes at him.

"Yeah well you took care of that a long time ago, didn't you DAD" she scoffed at him, narrowing her eyes in his direction.

Snake suddenly lunged across the bed and wrapped his hands aroud Emma's throat. Emma struggled underneath him but it was no use, he was too strong. So she did what she always did when Snake got like this, she went limp.

"Listen to me, little girl, or we're going to have a big fucking problem." he whispered harshly, his dead eyes narrowed at her.

Emma whimpered but but nodded her head. He released her and cracked his knuckles as he sat back at the end of the bed and Emma gasped for breath, not even WANTING to cry anymore. Things had been like this with Snake for a long time. AT first, Emma didn't want to believe that this sweet, plain teacher her mother had just married could be a bad guy. But after his cancer went into remission, Snake just CHANGED. It was like a switch went off in his brain that told him to be cruel to Emma. The first night he snuck into her bedroom late at night, Emma thought it was only a nightmare. But the second night when he came back, she knew this was her new reality when he took off his pajamas and climbed into bed with her. She had only been fourteen the first time he raped her. He told her that if she told anyone, he would kill her newborn brother and blame it on her and get her sent to live in a psych ward for the rest of her life. So Emma stayed quiet. She continued to act like a happy teenager with the perfect family for a while. That is until her life fell apart after the shooting and she just couldn't hold onto it anymore.

"I told you I would keep quiet about your behavior to your mom as long as you hid it well enough, Em, but Jesus! Perino came to me today and told me you blew off a meeting with him and your last period teacher told me that you skipped, again. You can't pull this shit anymore Emma! I'm trying to be a nice guy here by keepiong your secrets but I can't keep doing that if you don't work with me here." Snake said in his usual icy demeaner he spoke to her in when no one else was around.

Emma sighed. She was so stupid! She should have known not to skip class today! Snake had really been getting on her lately about that. She just felt so damn suffocated when she was at school now, like she just couldn't breathe anymore.

"I'm sorry. I'll do better." she ground out inbetween her clenched teeth.

She knew fighting with him would be useless. He would just continute to blam her for anything and everything and make her life a living hell until he got his way. It was better just to tell him what he watned to hear, give him what he wanted, and go about her life. It was easier that way.

"You fucking better or there will be hell to pay, Emma. I mean it!" he growled at her, his face inches from hers.

She could smell the stale beer on his breath and shut her eyes tight.. She knew what was coming next. She laid back and shut her eyes and let herself go completely numb as Snake loomed over her and used her body like he always did.

Emma turned her face towards her desk where tons of old pictures were tacked up above it on her bulliten board. She let her eyes focus in on a photo of Sean's smiling face from back when they were dating. She got lost in his bright blue eyes that shone oof kindness and warmth as her stepfather continued to assault her. She felt at peace.

-X-

REVIEWS PLEASE!


	4. The New Sean Cameron

Sean Cameron.

Most people would describe him as a lost cause, a bully, a misunderstood loner, a guy that really wants to change and wants to be good at the end of the day. Well that Sean Cameron is long gone now. Now he's just the guy that murdered someone in cold blood and had to move back in with his parents because he couldn't deal.

He tried at first, he really did! He tried to get his shit together and be better. But it didn't take more than a few weeks back in Wasaga to fall into his old ways again. He started hanging out with his old crew of partiers and picked up right where he left off before he moved to Degrassi. Now he partied his nights away and barely made it to school on time. On the days he even decided to go that is. He spent his nights down on the beach drinking beer with the boys and smoking way more weed than he probably should be. He fucked a different girl every night, and it wasn't a normal weekend if he and his friends didn't either throw a party or crash one.

He was slowly becoming the person he never wanted to be. But none of that mattered anymore. He no longer gave a shit about what happened to him because he no longer cared whether he lived or died. He was living his life on the edge and nothing could stop him now! Rick's bullet couldn't kill him, and so could nothing else! He was no longer living his life by Emma's or anyone else's expectations. He was never good enough for her anyways! And now? He didn't care that he wasn't because he knew he wasn't good enough for anyone anymore. Including himself.


	5. Feel the Burn

Sean didn't even feel the burn this time as he took yet another shot of tequila. It was the cheap shitty kind, but who gave a shit? Booze was booze! And he was huge fan of any substance that made him not feel for a while. And speaking of not feeling for a while...the hot girl he had been chatting up earlier was heading his way and she was more drunk than he was! Perfect.

"Hey it's Seannnnny!" She slurred as she ran up to him and threw her arms around his neck.

"Apriiiiil!" He sang back at her.

He hugged her back tight pressing her tits against his chest. The beer from the cup she was holding spilled down his back a little bit he didn't care. Sean was on a mission to get laid no matter what and slutty April from Wasaga High was a great option! She wouldn't get all clingy and attached like most girls cause she slept around just as much as he did. And chances were she would be too drunk to remember it the next day anyways.

But the best part about her? She wasn't Emma. She looked nothing like Emma. She had brown eyes and auburn hair. Unlike Emma who had beautiful hazel eyes and shiny gorgeous blonde hair. April was short and dressed in mostly short skirts and low cut tops that always showed off her large breasts. Whereas Emma was tall and lean and always wore clothing that accentuated her assets but never flaunted them too much.

Wait why the fuck was he thinking about Emma right now anyways? He'd been drinking for hours now. Usually that was enough to block her out, but not tonight for some reason. Tonight she was haunting him at full force and not letting go.

"What do you say we go upstairs for a while Seanny? I have something to show you!" April whispered in his ear.

Sean gave her his usual smile filled with charm and broken promises.

"I'd love that. You look so sexy tonight. But let's grab another few drinks first." He said as he pulled her towards the alcohol line in the kitchen.

April started to complain but stopped immediately when Sean started sucking on her neck. If he couldn't stop thinking about Emma on his own, he was gonna get blackout drunk and fuck her out of his system with any girl that walked his way. He'd been doing it for months, why the hell was tonight any different?

Sean pushed the thoughts out of his head as he downed a couple more shots and grabbed a few bottles of beer to take upstairs with him and april. She was getting eager and he could chug and walk at the same time. Screw Emma! She wasn't going to win tonight! The only thing Sean would let win was the wonderful numb feeling to drinking himself to sleep.


	6. Razor's Edge

Emma finally made her way into the ravine that night much later than she had originally intended. Snake had been extra brutal with her tonight as her punishment for skipping class and Emma had to take a scalding hot bath to soothe her sore muscles. She didn't mean to spend as long in the tub as she did, but as she was sitting there scrubbing her skin practically raw she noticed her razor sitting by the soap dish. Before Emma even realized what she was doing, she had the razor pulled apart and the sharp blade freed from it's protective plastic casing.

She pulled her right leg up high and rested it on the dripping faucet. It was something Emma had never tried before, but she was so damn sick of feeling numb. It was becoming easier and easier to block out any physical pain she felt and the emotional pain she had been blocking out for years now. She was just curious as to whether or not she could even feel anything anymore. At least that's what she told herself and she dragged the razor across the tender skin on her upper thigh and watched as a thin streak of blood oozed out.

Nope, she hadn't felt it. So Emma decided to cut another line next to the one she already made, but this time she pushed the blade deeper. She heard the sharp intake of her breath as the blade dug deeper into her skin and saw the blood drip into the bath water, but she hadn't felt more than a tiny sting.

The one thing she did feel, though? Relief. It was the first time in ages Emma had felt as if she had control over something in her life! So she did it again and again until she had small cuts all over her right upper thigh. Some were deep, some were shallow. By now, her bath water was turned a dingy brownish red and Emma realized how carried away she had gotten. If her mom had walked in she would be toast...and Snake would be livid! He would punish her worse than ever before.

As numb as she felt, Emma knew she didn't want that! So she forced herself to get out of the tub and immediately drain it. She used all of her cotton pads she usually used for makeup to soak up the blood on her thigh and half a roll of toilet paper while she was at it. Emma cleaned her cuts with alcohol and applied neosporin to the wounds so they would heal faster before putting bandages over top. She threw all the evidence away and wiped down her tub so that not even a trace of blood residue was seen. She then put on the outfit she had picked out for that evening even though pulling on her skinny jeans over her new bandages proved difficult.

She threw on a tank top that left little to the imagination and a hooded sweatshirt overtop and slipped on her sneakers. Emma checked her reflection in the mirror on more time before she grabbed the bathroom trash and headed for the window. She always snuck out her bedroom window at night and her parents never noticed. She left it open as she usually did for a quick return and headed out into the night. She deposited the trashed in a neighbor's bin a few blocks away. Better to be safe than sorry and hide all the evidence, right?

Emma hummed to herself as she looked for her friends.


	7. Another Night in the Life

Emma found Jay chatting up some girl she didn't know over by the picnic tables. She stole his pack of Marlboros from his back pocket and lit one up.

"Hey! You know you could have just asked for one Greenpeace. You didn't have to feel me up." He said, his signature smirk displayed proudly on his smug face.

Emma rolled her eyes and threw the pack back at him as she took a long drag of her smoke in protest.

"Yeah cause feeling you up is THAT great, Jay." Emma remarked back.

Alex walked up behind her and rested her arm on Emma's shoulder.

"Trust me, it's not." Jay's girlfriend remarked as she clacked her gum and rolled her dark eyes.

Jay threw up his hands in frustration.

"What is it, gang up on Jay day at the ravine or something?"

The girls giggled as Amy walked over.

"What'd I miss?" She asked, fixing her hair and stealing Emma's lipgloss out of her sweatshirt pocket.

"Ew, I don't even wanna know where those lips have been!"Emma made a face as Amy applied a healthy dose of gloss and returned it to Emma's pocket.

Amy rolled her eyes.

"Calm down I was just with Aaron."

"Oh gross!" Alex said slapping Amy's arm.

"Seriously, Aim, Aaron is such a perv!" Emma added in.

Amy brushed them off and grabbed a beer out of the cooler at Jay's feet.

"Oh whatever Emma don't even pretend like you weren't sucking his dick last weekend!" Amy pointed out as she popped the top and took a long swig of beer.

Alex laughed.

"Busted." She said as she also reached for a beer.

Emma rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, like I even remember that." Emma joked and stubbed out her cigarette.

"It's ok Em, the rest of us do." Jay laughed.

"Ugh, fuck off you guys!" Emma hit Jay's arm.

"Ow, hey watch the goods!" He said.

"Goods?" Emma gave him a scathing look.

"By that he just means his biceps are basically non existent so try not to bruise his wittle arm too much." Alex taunted him, hitting his other arm for emphasis.

Jay rolled his eyes.

"Why are all my friends girls? God!" He huffed.

"The better question is, why do you even have friends?" Amy laughed hitting him square in the chest.

"Stop it! God I miss Cameron. Even when we were fist fighting out in front of the school, he still didn't hit me this much!"

All of a sudden the laughs and good mood in the group vanished. Emma became tense as hell, as she usually did whenever Sean was mentioned. And the rest of the group noticed which made them tense up.

An awkward silence happened for a minute before Emma was surprisingly the first to speak.

"At least WE don't run away when things get tough. The rest of us grew up while Sean's still living in Peter Pan land." She said icily.

Amy and Alex smartly stayed silent, but Jay as usual had to open his big mouth.

"Um, Em, I don't really think it was that easy. I talked to Sean last week...and..things aren't exactly all rainbows and butterflies in Wasaga." Jay said quietly.

Emma rolled her eyes.

"Good, serves him right."

Jay opened his mouth to protest but Alex cut him off before he could do anymore damage.

"Baby, where's that joint you scored from Shane earlier?"

Jay decided to let the Sean issue go for the time being and pulled the joint out of his pocket.

"Right here, baby. Ready to smoke down?" He asked.

"Always."

Jay lit up and then passed it to Emma. Emma let the calm feeling wash over her as the weed took effect. She pushed Sean out of her mind for the time being and grabbed a beer to wash down the smoke with.

She wasn't going to let Sean Cameron ruin her night!


	8. Who's Emma?

"Who the fuck is Emma?" Sean heard a drunk girl screech in his ear.

Wait, what?

They had been having sex for an embarrassingly short amount of time before Sean just came wildly. I mean who the hell can even think right after they orgasm anyways? He rolled off of her and realized the drunk girl was April. Who he went to school with at Wasaga High. Who he had been chatting up downstairs at some random party his friend Jeff was throwing. And he had been drinking like crazy all night because he couldn't get Emma off his mind. And then to forget about her even more, he took off April's clothes and fucked her.

"What? Who?" Sean said, throwing the used condom on the floor and taking a long swig of his beer on the night stand.

"Emma! You know, the name you just said over and over again when you came...as you were fucking me. APRIL!" She was getting angrier by the second.

Shit. Had he really done that? Sean didn't even remember coming upstairs with April, let alone saying Emma's name apparently more than once during sex.

Sean's random blackouts while he was still partying was becoming a more common thing. He would randomly come to after he'd done something and barely remember how he'd gotten there. Man, he had to stop drinking! It was beginning to fuck with his memory.

"April, baby, you must've just heard me wrong." Sean tried to reason...at least as well as he could while highly intoxicated.

At this point he was ready to pass out.

"No I didn't hear you wrong, Sean Cameron! The rumors about you are true! You don't give a damn about anything but getting drunk and having sex!" April sneered at him while she started searching for her clothes.

"You seemed pretty fine with it about an hour ago when you were all over me!" Sean remarked almost boredly as if he didn't care...which honestly he didn't.

She knew what she was getting herself into. April was no angel herself.

"Ugh! I can't believe I just slept with you! Whatever, Sean! I'm so over this." She threw her shirt on inside out and barely snapped her jeans and stuffed her feet into her shoes before she was out the door.

Sean wanted to stop her but before he could say anything or even really move, she was slamming Jeff's bedroom door and stalking down the hallway.

Eh, whatever. Sean didn't really want to deal with all that anyways. He got what he wanted out of her and that was that. He wasn't interested in getting to know her. Hell, tomorrow he wouldn't even remember her name.

But it seemed like he was having a hard time forgetting Emma's. Sean tried to push the thought out of his mind as he passed out, but her name kept thrumming in his head like a heartbeat.

Emma.

Emma.

Emma.

EMMA.


	9. WTF

Later that week, Sean was laying in his bed doing what he usually did when there wasn't a party…listened to his parents fight while he wasted his life away on FaceRange. He was looking around for a party to hit up that night to get him out of the house while also dodging messages from random girls looking for a hookup. It's not that Sean wasn't looking for a hookup, I mean he was always looking for a hookup, but after what had happened with April the other night at Jeff's party, he was being slightly more selective in his process. Maybe if he picked girls that were a little less dramatic, then things wouldn't go downhill l so quickly and he wouldn't have to deal with their bullshit.

Just as he was about to message his buddy to see if he had any smoke, some pictures of Emma flashed up on his newsfeed. Sean's breath caught in his throat and he felt a stab of pain in his heart just seeing her face. He usually tried to avoid stalking her page at all costs and tell himself he just didn't give a damn but tonight he couldn't help himself.

Against his better judgement, Sean clicked on her name and brought up Emma's profile. The pictures that had just been posted were originally posted from his ex girlfriend Amy's account and had Emma, Alex, and Jay all tagged in them including some other random people Sean didn't know. Wait…since when did Emma hang out with his old group of friends? Last time Sean checked, they all hated each other!

In the photos, Emma was dressed slutty with a lot more makeup on than he had ever seen her wear and Sean could tell she was wasted in every one! What. .

Emma was slung over Amy and Alex and Jay like they were all besties and she was looking super cozy and friendly with some dudes he didn't even know! What was going on? This was NOT the Emma he knew.

Suddenly Sean heard a big crash from the living room and knew his parents had gotten to the phase of the night where they were throwing stuff at each other. He sure as shit didn't feel like sticking around to hear all that so he put his feelings about the new Emma on the backburner and texted his buddies to meet him on the beach. Sean snuck out his bedroom window per usual and headed towards his usual spot.

He light a cigarette on the way and tried to push Emma out of his mind.

About twenty minutes and a short walk to his spot on the beach later, and she was still on his mind. Why was Emma dressing like that and partying down at the ravine with his old friends? Did she drink all the time now? Was she into drugs too? Did she get bracelets from guys in the van like a lot of the girls that hung in the ravine did?

Oh god, just the thought of Emma with another guy made Sean,s pulse race and his blood boil. Why did she still have this effect on him after all these years? He hadn't seen her in months and she was still fucking driving him crazy!

"Yo, Cameron! It's about damn time you got here! Beers gettin cold man!" Sean heard his friend yell from across the bonfire when he finally reached the party.

Sean pushed Emma out of his mind as far as he possibly could and caught the can of cheap beer Skully throw his way.

He gave the crowd of partygoers his usual "I don't give a fuck" Sean Cameron smirk and said, "Guess I better get to chugging then."

He drank until he couldn't even remember Emma's name and blacked out on the beach.

-X-


End file.
